Why?
17 mar 2012 Dejar un comentario
If you think about it, life seems to be totally unfair, uneven and random. While you cry others laugh. While you breathe others drown. So be grateful for the good things on your way. Everyday.
And that’s how I start this entry.
Today, I woke up feeling bad about my hair. I went for a trim two weeks ago and they cut it more that I asked for, which is especially annoying if you are trying to grow your hair for the past year.
En suit, I recieved a message from my brother, 9:20am, telling me one of his friends passed away. A frined I met a while ago, I talked to her a cuple of times. She was killed. Murdered.
Shock
I think about how short her life was (only 19 years old), I think about her family, and how her parents must be feeling at the moment. I think about the last night I spoke to her. Beautiful smile she had.
And then, I think about life…Life in general.
I believe in God, and yes, sometimes I have doubted, during my life my faith might have been weaker on certain moments. I’m not going to extend this post explaining how,but yes in general, I believe in God. If you believe in God like me, you might believe that he’s on good people’s side. I mean yes he loves us all, bad guys and good guys. But we as good people, believe he’s more on our side, and good things are always on the way. Or maybe, let’s just put God aside for a moment, and lets go with the basic principle of “Good things happen to good people” right? Thats one of my life’s philosophical beliefs. But then, when I think hard, it all come to dust.
Why did this young girl die? You might say, “it was her time” “God had better plans” “An angel was required in heaven” ” She fulfilled her mission on this planet” “it had to happen” etc etc etc…well, I say BULSHIT!. No! she didnt have to die!! she was only 19, she was begining her life, her carreer, she was beginging her future, NO, she shouldnt have died! and No it is no way better that she is now dead. Not for her or her family, nor for anyone!! !and I promise to whoever is reading this, that that will be the first quesiton I will ask God, or that higher force in our life, if I ever get a chance to. Why is life so unfair? why is life so uneven?
Why are there people dying of hunger while I was having a glass of expensive red wine in Paris? does that makes me a bad person? You might say no, but right now I feel like a bad person, ungrateful and shallow, just for being alive, just for being about to have food on the table with people that love me. I want everybody to have the oportunities I’ve had, the same opportunities thousands of people have. We all have the right to live, to survive, and to have a warm bed to go to every night. Why are some people so “unlucky!? why do children die?. No answer. Just the blind answer of “God knows best”…but, does he? or, does he even have any control on this? or are we just lost souls randomly place in a chess-board like game where things happen , and nobody cares?
I dont know.
But what I really do know that as beautiful as life can be, is as also as horrendus it might get.
No, life is not fair, but maybe is not meant to.
RIP beautiful girl.
You deserved better.
stupid calendar
06 jun 2011 Dejar un comentario
We learnt we had to say goodbye in order to say hello again…
We learnt that time doesnt stop, for the good or the bad, and that calendar never does you any favours.
We learnt to save every magic moment so it can last for months, but we know it never happens
Its been 5 weeks i dont see your heaven eyes staring into mine, and it hurts. More than ever
Its gonna be another 5 weeks without you, and im pushing my self to believe im strong enough to do this
Because, if I couuld, I would grab my passport, my laptop, and my smile a in a rugsack and go where you are.
But I cant.
And it’s killing me
distance
29 may 2011 Dejar un comentario
Being away from you is one of the hardest tasks i’ve ever have to come across to.
I´ve always said you are my “future boyfriend”…because you come from a world where the things im living now you have already lived hours ago…(5and a half :))
So, how are things now in your world? am I there yet?
Cause i really really miss you, like i always do everytime i have to come back to the past.
juntos
29 may 2011 Dejar un comentario
Y lo que mas me gusta de tí, es que pudiendo estar en 1000 lugares, prefieres estar conmigo
cherry blossom
08 may 2011 Dejar un comentario
I always said i wouldnt die before seeing a cherry blossom
And i wont…
Cuestión de Fé
02 mar 2011 Dejar un comentario
A veces la vida nos coloca en lugares dificiles, nos muestra caminos dificiles que primero no sabemos como recorrer, ni mucho menos si vamos a lograr hacerlo.
Hoy alguien que amo esta pasando por un momento dificil, un momento en el que el mundo niega cuanto valor posee, y cuanto merece obtener lo que busca.
Hoy el mundo le esta dando la espalda, y no encentro palabras para animar o consolar.
Lo que si se es que tengo FE, y estoy segura de que algo viene , algo que tiene merecido, algo que estaba buscando durante todos estos meses y siempre le han negado…se que todo el sufrimiento no ha sido en vano, y simplemente nada de aquello estaba echo para que lo lograra.
Tengo una FE inmensa en que todo estara bien y la felicidad tocara la puerta…y para ser honesta solo he tenido este tipo de fe en la vida 2 veces, una hace mas de un año, y ahora.
La de hace un año me trajo hasta aquí, donde estoy parada, todo lo que soy hoy para ese entonces era un sueño.
Y eso que tanto quiere es apersona que amo, sera suyo, ya lo verá.
something i wrote a year ago and i still believe.
22 feb 2011 Dejar un comentario
Some of you may have seen the movie Castaway with Tom Hanks. It’s actually one of my favorites.
Tom Hanks plays a guy named Chuck who is stuck on an island for four years after a plane crash. He has a dull routine every day, and finally he gives way to despair. He tries to commit suicide. But at the last minute his plan was frustrated, and he backed up
The next day, after almost committing suicide, the tide brings in a piece of metal that he figured could be used as a sort of boat to get him off the island. When that is completed after hard work, he sails off, and 500 miles away he is rescued by a ship.
He had been on the island four years.
He gets back home and sees his girlfriend,she was themain reason he could stay alive for all those years, just by watching her picure everynight…but, understandably, she has married someone else.
He is devastated!
But by the end of the movie he said: “I know what I’ve got to do. I’ve got to keep breathing. Because tomorrow the sun will come up …and you never know what the tide might bring in.” And just about that time a pretty girl comes by.
Life for most of us is not easy,dream-like or full of joy. Sometimes life leaves us feeling isolated and forgotten, hurted….sometimes struggling to maintain hope, to find reasons between our broken dreams, reasons to keep going, or just a reason to smile.
After watching this movie, and hearing that quote, and of course crying my eyes out, i saw it…You just keep breathing’” , we certanly have worst moments and better moments…. But we must not lose hope.
I know is hard…but it makes scence…whatever is hurting you right know, whatever is bringing tears to your face, whatever is breaking your dreams…you must stop for a moment , like tom Hanks did…and remember that tomorrow the sun will come up and you don’t know what new gifts the tide of God’s will has in store for you…
God is there wheather you feel like he cares for you or not, weather you are mad at him or not, wheather you BELIEVE or not, wheather you forget him or not..he’s there and his love is endless.
